Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Privacy and Blogging

Around the Jing'an Temple on a winter's night.
In the last few weeks I have been reading a lot of non-book blogs. You might say that they'd be classified under "sex and relationships" and "culture/race." (If you're interested in checking out the blogs I have been poring through, they are here, here, and here.) Many of these blogs have several years' worth of backlog posts for me to blissfully spend hours reading through. I seem to enjoy reading blogs like I read books: one complete story at a time, not really getting into the ones that are serial or ongoing. It's interesting that this behavior of mine applies to TV shows as well. The only TV show I keep up with religiously is Castle; the rest, I tend to buy in box sets and watch over a series of weeks.

Reading these non-book blogs has made me think about what I want out of this blog. For the majority of its first three years (yes, my blog is three years old now. Kind of astonishing to think about, really), Steph Su Reads has been inarguably a book blog. I post book reviews, book-related news pieces, my reflections on book-related topics. It's been an incredible experience, but since graduating college and moving to Shanghai, I can't help but sometimes feel as if I want to do more with my blogging. If I grew tenfold as a person from entering college, I am growing even further in post-grad life. There are things I see, things I think about, things that I have changed that my fingertips sometimes tingle to write about.

And yet, at the same time that I feel like I have more to say, I have withdrawn from blogging. In the past few months, I have posted reviews and Cover Lust posts. Not much more. I used to feel the fire of wanting to write about hot topics in the book world burning through me. Not so much now. While I want to expand my writing here on my blog, part of me is also fiercely afraid of doing so.

I have always drawn a very thick and uncrossable line between my private, "real world" life and my online blogging presence. I don't do vlogs. I rarely post pictures of myself. I find it hard to take my online friendships with other book lovers into the rest of my life. I've cut back on the number of author and blogger friend requests I accept on my personal Facebook account. (No offense meant to you if I don't accept your friend request! You're better off finding me here on Facebook.) Whenever someone in my "real world" life mentions that they have read my blog, I sputter out a nervous laugh and blush fiercely.

The blogs I have been reading lately plunge deep into their writers' lives and discuss all of their joys and worries, good and bad points. I like reading them because it feels like I'm reading a first-person novel. Part of me wants to have that sort of candidness and authenticity in talking about myself and my insecurities, but the only outlet through which I have been perfectly honest is in my dozens of handwritten journals, and those will be private until the day I die. I admire the honesty and authenticity of today's memoirs and blogs (well, so much as any form of written and edited communication can be considered honest and authentic, but that's a discussion I'll save for my Victorian Literature & Culture seminar classmates), but I struggle in revealing that much of myself for others to read about and judge.

The great part about the blogging and memoir culture is that readers find community and connection through personal accounts. Part of me longs to join that community, but a stronger part of me sadly withdraws even more.

I think that as book bloggers, most of us already keep a large part of our lives off our blogs. Oftentimes there feels like an invisible circle of acceptable topics that we book bloggers can blog about, and if we blog outside of those topics, we lose followers. (I admit, I have been guilty of unfollowing people on account of how they became non-book bloggers. It's funny, because now I am thinking about scaling back on the number of book blogs I follow, so that I can expand my blog-reading repertoire without being overwhelmed.) So I'm curious: How much do you, as a book blogger, feel like you must only post about book-related topics? What outlets do you have for when you want to write about non-book topics? How do you think you'd gauge your level of interest for any non-bookish posts I may write in the future? How do you maintain the balance between your online persona and your real-life person?


Happy Valentine's Day. :)

37 comments:

  1. I feel very similar about keeping my personal life separate from blogging. I don't put many pictures of myself up, and I do NOT link my facebook with blogging at all. A random person who knew me in high school wouldn't easily find my blog. And at the same time, I have gone through a lot of personal stuff I wouldn't post on my book blog. It's not really about losing followers so much as reading is what takes me away from the daily grind, and I want that space to stay separate. It feels good after a bad day to go somewhere where everyone doesn't know that such and such just happened. I can pretend normalcy until I'm recovered. I don't feel like I need to share everything and if I wanted to tell people, blogging it out into the universe isn't my style. My style is talking to people one on one, not to a crowd. That said, I am OK with talking about mundane details and if something in my personal life is making me HAPPY, I can post about that in a general way (vacations, my wedding, evil cat tricks), and I think it's good to have some sort of connection with whoever is reading my blog. I like the same from other book blogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. * every time I say "blogging" above I mean "book blogging". If I had a pure personal blog, I would share more, but I would restrict who could read it.

      Delete
    2. "It's not really about losing followers so much as reading is what takes me away from the daily grind, and I want that space to stay separate."

      I feel like this is an increasingly less common way to look at reading/writing, particularly now in today's culture of social networking and oversharing online. But I definitely understand and respect your opinion. I think I used to be like that--still am, probably, with reading, although I'm trying to make reading less of an escapist activity and more of lifelong lesson. Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
    3. Yes, mine is a less common approach now, but I'm glad that people share even though I hold back, and that reading can be more than an escape.

      Delete
  2. I blog a slice of everything I endjoy. Movies, Books, Writing, and a humor filled look at my life. It's still fun for me since I don't actually have a format I just write in the areas that I'm most comfortable chatting about. When it's no longer fun, I'll back off from it. But the great thing about blogging is, you are allowed to take breaks :-D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "But the great thing about blogging is, you are allowed to take breaks"

      I really need to work on feeling this way! I'm notoriously un-self-disciplined when it comes to keeping up a routine, though, so in a ways forcing myself to blog daily (well, at least back in the day) was good for me. :)

      Delete
  3. I like to keep much of my life off of my blog - but (kind of like you), I've found myself drifting away from my blog because I have found that the pure book blog format has become too restrictive. I've branched out a bit into including movies and even the occasional theater performance lately. But I wonder what my (admittedly few) followers will think if I start posting art historical factoids, food reviews from my travels, my outrage at the recent closing of the Dublin Dr Pepper bottling plant, etc.

    Then again, from what I can tell - it looks like I will be blogging about either all of the eclectic things I'm interested in or not at all given recent indication. And I'd like to think that those who follow will continue to if they're interested and quietly drop off if not. And if they leave, well, it's no real skin off my nose, is it?

    I think you should blog about what interests you to the extent that you're comfortable. I read your blog for your voice in addition to for content and I would be happy to hear your thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lana, you've said *exactly* how I feel about blogging these days. There's lots of stuff I want to write about! Sometimes, however, I get so overwhelmed by all the things I want to write about, and so constrained by the "format" of a book blog, that, like you, I end up writing nothing at all. This is an absolute travesty, but I'm struggling to work in an audience with my personal writings and how that changes my voice or what I decide to write about. For the record, I would love to hear your food reviews from your travels (I have an urge to talk about great Shanghai restaurants recently) as well as your thoughts on the bottling plant closing.

      Delete
  4. Honestly - I don't mind if the bloggers I follow add personal/non-bookish bits. It adds variety and keeps things fresh! I rarely blog about personal details, but I do every now and then when big things come up - new job, move, new baby, etc... I say, blog about whatever YOU want to! I'd keep following wherever that led to :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks! Funnily enough, I don't often blog about the "big" things in my life--they feel too big to do justice about in a blog post, which is a bad thing to think about as a writer--I usually end up resorting to pictures at that point. :P

      Delete
  5. My blog started as a family blog and moved to book blogging . Yes I still have pics of my kids and still mention them but not as much.

    I made a seperate blog to be more personal about kids and family life. I love movies and books but right now I do blog what I feel about --but yes I mommy blogging is another area that I didn't want to be asssociate or focus on parenting because everyone parents different.
    Thats why I moved to book blogging --loved this niche part and loved talking about books.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Julie. I can definitely see the appeal of keeping parts of my life separate from each other, but lately I'm more and more having this stubborn determination to *keep* the different parts of my life *together*, which probably wouldn't be best facilitated by my starting up a new blog. But we'll see! :)

      Delete
  6. I keep seperate blogs (livejournal, tumblr) for when I want to blog about things that are more personal or non-book related.

    I like to keep really personal stuff off my book blog - my Speak Loudly posts and YA Saved posts have been moved back to drafts because having them out there made me uncomfortable. But it's not because I'm against sharing them with the blog readers and feedback for them was really good, it's because it'd be easy for my family to find my blog URL (publishers sometimes send packages with my blog name in the address) and there's things I don't want to talk about with them.

    There's been a few times when I posted some non-book review stuff (like reviews of other things I like) but there isn't much interest in those from the readers and that's fair enough, they subscribed to a book blog, not a blog about my other interests. =P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funnily enough, I think that lately I've been drawn more to the non-book blog posts on book blogs that I'm subscribed to. That's odd, isn't it? I definitely understand about keeping personal things off my book blog, though. That's what my tangible journal is for.

      Delete
  7. I am like you - I don't do vlogs, and I'm always a little flustered when I meet people in real life who know my blog. BUT. I started my blog as a personal one, and it morphed over several months into a place for books. I still post recipes semi-regularly, and add little updates about my latest activities as the mood strikes. I don't find that this loses me followers, and it (honestly) keeps me sane. Having something ELSE to break up all the talk of books is how I keep myself interested in blogging. I love books, but I don't get that fire and passion to write about the newest book blogging developments that you talk about. I just want to talk books, and recipes, and get involved with events as it suits my interest and inclination.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, those are some great thoughts, Cecelia! I guess I've been so concerned over keeping this blog strictly about books these past few years that I never thought that expanding my focus to some other things can actually help keep my interest in books/blogging. I guess it's like how people recommend avoiding burnout! :)

      Delete
  8. I have a highly private family blog to share our everyday life, my daughter growing up, our travels, etc. I share some on my book blog, but the more mundane I share on my family blog. It gives me an outlet, a means to preserve memories...without worry of a larger audience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your private family blog sounds like good ole-fashioned journaling to me. Good for you. :)

      Delete
  9. This is definitely an interesting post. Like you, I enjoy reading blogs about lifestyle and culture. And as with most things, my slight OCD kicks in and I have to read them from the very beginning up until the latest entry. It gives me a great feel for the personality behind the blog, and it's my hope that I'll be able to do something similar.

    I really only post about book-related topics on Alexa Loves Books, simply because I planned for it to be a blog related only to the bookish aspect of my personality. For other things, I journal a lot and then there's my personal blog, which I'm still improving on.

    I think it's nice sometimes when book bloggers write more personal posts. In your case, it would definitely be interesting to learn your thoughts on things other than book-related topics, so I'd definitely encourage it. But to maintain your privacy, you don't have to reveal specific details or anything. I used to do that, but more and more, I'm trying to keep some of my information private (especially photos).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, yes! Do you also NEED to watch TV series from the very beginning, without skipping any episodes? :D

      I definitely do not plan to get overly personal on my blog. That's something that I don't think I can do without the cloak of fiction. (Which is, I guess, why I think books are so powerful and so therapeutic.) I've often considered starting different blogs but I kind of like keeping everything together because there's just one me, y'know? :)

      Delete
    2. Having more than one blog is a little crazy, but I'm also compelled to have more than one to keep everything organized. My brain can be so weird sometimes.

      Also, YES, I need to watch TV series start to finish without skipping. Which is why, more often than not, I wait until the season is over so I can just marathon them ;)

      Delete
  10. I feel like I hold back a lot but I also add a good amount of my personal life..which a lot of that ties back into my bookishness (ie. all my Wedding Wednesday posts about MY wedding plus bookish weddings). I talk a lot about losing my mom but I think there is a place for that especially when I approach YA fiction that deals with the same issue. And then there is sometimes those random posts that are more ME focused but I feel like has always had a positive response. Nonetheless, I would say about 90% of my content is about books or related to the industry or just bookish things.

    I personally like book blogs who throw a little bit of themselves in there..but not overwhelmingly so. I've unfollowed blogs who post 5 out of 7 posts as non-bookish stuff..unless what they are now talking about reallyyy excites me (fashion, cooking, etc)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The wonderful thing about the personal stuff you do talk about on your blog is how you have managed to use them to build a community, e.g. your Wedding Wednesday posts. That's a rare and wonderful skill to have, and you really make your readers feel like they're your best friend, sitting on your living room couch and having hot chocolate with you while you gush over things you love. It's great!

      Delete
  11. I guess, for me, blogging has just been whatever I want it to be. I write about what I want to write about and don't worry if I get the disappointing *crickets* on some personal posts. I write about books, I write about life; I've never considered my space strictly book-related, so I don't sweat it.

    Considering I'm also a columnist, I'm pretty comfortable writing about myself and my life -- but everyone has a line they don't want to cross. While I have no problem talking about my own insecurities, I never breach my boyfriend, friends or family's trust by talking about them either in the newspaper or on my blog. It's understandable that, no matter what, we would want to keep some things for those who really "know" us.

    That being said, I'll be honest: I often find book blogs that only discuss books to be a bit boring. I like to know who I'm visiting. I get to know bloggers and like them for being themselves... if I wanted the impersonal opinion of a professional reviewer, I would look for that.

    I'd be very interested in reading your personal posts and like individual "flavor" in my blog-reading! Your posts on life in China are always awesome, and I get so excited when I see new ones! :)

    Sorry to write you a novel, haha -- and happy Valentine's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No apologies necessary for the novel-length comment; I appreciate them. :) I suppose that the blogs I've been reading lately are actually pretty (in)famous, which is in a way like they are columnists... right? I admire that, with your experience in being both a blogger and a columnist, you can tell the similarities and differences between the two and "reveal" yourself accordingly in either medium.

      Delete
  12. I currently have two blogs. My book blog and my personal blog. They're linked to one another, but that's about it. I don't know. Organization wise, it's easier to keep my two worlds apart, but it can be a pain when it comes to updating. There are even times when I feel like what I want to say doesn't belong on either and then I just resort to my handwritten journal. I don't know, I'm hoping to one day combine the two blogs, but for now, I manage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you do consider combining your two blogs, I would support you. I understand people's desire to keep different parts of their lives separate, but more and more I'm thinking that blogging is like an informal conversation, a way of getting to know the blogger behind the posts, and so why couldn't the blogger put all his or her passions and interests into one place? I think it may be easy to build communities within niches, but lately blogging has become less of a way for me to hone my knowledge in bookish news and more a way for me to "hone" myself, as a whole.

      Delete
    2. Agreed. I'm a bit of a newbie when it comes to book blogging, but I've been blogging for awhile (I just jump around a lot). And after reading blogs since they started, I've learned that I actually like the non-niche posts in niche blogs. The posts that allow people to relate to the blogger, not just the topic. It makes me feel like I have friends (because, yes, I need virtual friends to compensate for the fact that I'm too lazy to go out with my RL friends sometimes ;P). But getting back on topic, I give it a few months, maybe even less, before I get fed up with the separate blogs and just mash 'em together, hehe.

      Delete
  13. I should’ve read this post before. This is really amazing which has loads of interesting information in it. There are a lot of posts over the internet today but it doesn’t make sense at all. I’m grateful for having myself here. Thanks a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have a tough time figuring out what I want my blog to be. It's supposed to be about books and writing, and I do insert a lot of myself in there. But I haven't gone out of my way to pair up with a local bookstore or go to author signings at local bookstores, or meet other local bloggers, or even go to blogger functions. I know that time will come, but I'm not ready yet. As for expanding what you write about, I don't think you'll lose followers. But I have noticed a lot of people develop pages for that: one tab for writing, one tab for books, one tab for cooking, etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've thought about creating different blogs for each of my different interests, but ultimately decided against it. I think I'm just going to put everything together (here) and people can read and/or respond to whatever they choose to. :) And don't worry: I was pretty much like you when I was a better book blogger. It may be great to extend book blogging into real life with author signings or blogger meetups, but sometimes those can be overwhelming or inconvenient. It's a good thing that blogging is mostly online. :)

      Delete
  15. I love this post, Steph! I think it's so hard to balance your personal life with your blogging life. I try to keep things separate (like you, I have a blog page on Facebook that people can follow instead of adding me as a friend). I also don't post links of my blog posts in my personal Facebook account because I'm not sure real life friends would appreciate it. But I've noticed that both aspects of my life are starting to merge since I've also started spending time with friends I've met through the blog (like fellow Filipino book bloggers). I post a lot of pictures on my blog but they're usually book-related. Or I post updates on my travels because I usually announce those on the blog as well.

    I've noticed that some of the other things that I love doing are being integrated into my blog - two examples of this are features that I've created recently: Shoot That Book (because I enjoy taking pictures and I've noticed that most of the pictures in my camera are of books) and Postcard Love (because you know I love sending and receiving postcards and it looks like a lot of other bloggers feel the same).

    I actually like seeing personal posts from time to time because I like getting to know other bloggers. Although I've noticed that I only enjoy that when it's from a blogger I already know and not from someone new-to-me. I will keep reading whatever you post, Steph, even if it's not book-related because even though we've never met in person and we've only exchanged tweets, postcards and blog comments, I think of you as a friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. What a great post! This is something I struggle with-- I want to inject enough personality into my blog to engage my readers, but I don't want it to be, like, a "personal" blog. It's a book and library blog. But I think sticking to strictly non-personal stuff can be distancing and dry. I know I always get hooked on a blog more easily if I can sense the personality behind the posts.

    That's why I like your blog! Not only do you write great reviews, but there's plenty of personality to it. Posts like this are why I keep reading!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know what you mean Steph. My interests in what I want to blog about often veer outside of the bookish and when I do blog about those things I often get little response. But I do it anyway, because I enjoy it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also I have been very personal on my blog and while I sometimes regret it, I guess I feel like that's the kind of person I want to be..open and if others use that against me, that's ultimately their problem.

      Delete
  18. Hi Steph, I just found your blog through Goodreads! Reading this post you have described exactly how I feel, especially when it comes to real life people finding my blog(s), eek! I don't know why I worry so much, but I do. Your post has given me a lot to think about :)

    Mands xox

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Steph, I like this post! I've been blogging since 2003, and my first blog was about my personal life, personal thoughts...I've just plunged into book blogging world about 3 years ago. Now I have 2 blogs, and every time I need to express myself in a non-bookish way, I turned into my personal blog. Sometimes it's as if I have two different lives, but I'm fine with that =)

    ReplyDelete

Hello! I'm so excited to read what you have to say. Due to high amounts of spam, I'm forced to disabled anonymous comments for the time being. Sorry for any inconvenience this causes, and I hope you can understand and still appreciate the content here!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...